Writing the Enemies to Lovers Romance Trope

Updated 17 2024 Enemies-to-lovers is one of the oldest romance tropes and by far one of the most satisfying to read.

It's also up there with the most popular tropes in the last few years, due in large part to the delicious tension the trope creates between the main characters. Readers love tension; it's why dark and mafia romance are so popular. That push-pull, should-I-or-shouldn't-I, is pure catnip.

But while no romance trope is easy to write, enemies to lovers is one of the more difficult ones to master, because it requires skilled plotting and character development.

Why is plotting important in enemies to lovers romance?

Enemies to lovers is all about change. As the plot throws the main characters together through the romance beats (pivotal scenes) and sub-plot beats (scenes from the other storyline besides the romance. This could be a competition the main characters participate in, a renovation they're doing together, a wedding they're planning—you get the idea), they're forced to confront their impressions of each other and question if they're correct. Spoiler: they never are.

The romance beats and sub-plot also lead to introspection, giving the characters the opportunity to evaluate their goals, motivations, and emotional wounds, and whether they're serving them. And in the case of emotional wounds, they never are.

To really understand why you need a great plot for enemies to lovers, think of a romance plot as a series of actions. Every reaction leads to either character development, the progression of the romance, or, in the best plots, both.

Why is character development important in enemies to lovers romance?

Enemies to lovers is a trope that embraces change, because it has to. It doesn't work without it.

Readers are expecting the story to begin with two people who, because of an inciting event, hate each other. That inciting event makes them feel like they're polar opposites with nothing in common, even if that's not really the case. But it's only through the romance and sub-plot beats that their opinions change, and they realize that the person they hated is, in fact, the person they love more than anyone else.

Why is an inciting incident important in enemies to lovers romance?

The enemies to lovers romance trope doesn't work if there isn't a good reason why the characters are enemies.

Without an event to instill that odium, the story doesn't have the tension—aka conflict—essential to the trope. And readers pick up books with those trope for that tension!

Need some examples of inciting events? Look at these below, from pop culture:

In Pride and Prejudice, the inciting event that turns Lizzie and Darcy into enemies is the country ball, when Lizzie overhears Darcy sharing his first—unsavoury—impression of her with friends.

In You've Got Mail, one of the best film examples of the trope, it's when Meg Ryan finds out that Joe Fox is responsible for the construction of the big box book store destroying her bookshop's business.

Without the foundational, emotional event to spur hate that eventually turns to love, the trope falls flat, making the romance too easy and low-angst.

Because make no mistake, enemies to lovers is not a low angst trope. It's rife with internal conflict. The characters have to battle with themselves and, usually, with each other, before they succumb to their feelings.

It's a trope with big emotions. Luckily, big emotions work for every romance sub-genre, making this trope a universal favorite. Mostly.

Are there romance sub-genres where the enemies to lovers trope doesn't work as well?

While the trope does work with every sub-genre, it's harder to write if you're on the closed door/low spice end of the spectrum. This trope creates a lot of sexual tension, so if you're writing closed door/low spice, you'll have to be careful about how you write the characters' reaction to the pivotal scene when they confess their feelings and act on them, i.e., when the tension is released. Often, acting on their feeling translates to sex, sex, lots of sex, all on page, but you could write a hot makeout scene that fades to black, and show the characters the next morning/afternoon/evening feeling at ease now that everything is out in the open, metaphorically speaking.

What tropes are good to pair with the enemies to lovers trope?

Bully is a great trope to combine with enemies to lovers; like enemies to lovers, bully romances are all about change and character development, and bringing together people who thought they had the other all figured out.

Forced proximity is also a great trope to combine with enemies to lovers, because it can act as a plot thrust that forces the characters to confront each other, either about their feelings or, if they're not quite there yet, about why they hate each other.

What books can you read to see the enemies to lovers trope in action?

• Well Met by Jen DeLuca

• Beard in Mind by Penn Reid

• Major Surgery by Lola Keeley

• Her Best Worst Mistake by Sarah Mayberry

If you can, order paperback copies of each book so you can underline the inciting event that causes the enemies-to-lovers tension. Then, study the scenes that follow this event, making note of how the characters react to each one, and how that reaction subtly shifts the way they talk or think about themselves or each other. Then, go back and make a flow chart of these scenes; this will give you a framework for plotting the romance, the sub-plot, and the character development.

Until next post, happy reading and writing!